Aaron Lewis’s profanity-laced rant at Rockfest 2014, Kansas City’s famous all-day music festival, went absolutely viral after he called out male Rockfest goers for inappropriately touching what appeared to Aaron Lewis to be an underage crowd-surfing female.
Aaron Lewis, frontman of the hard rock band Staind, stopped their set at 98.9 the Rock’s Rockfest to publicly humiliate the violators in front of the 50,000 plus others enjoying the rock show. My hat is off to Mr. Lewis for caring about his fans’ well-being and chastising those ungentlemen. We will from here on out label such disrespectful live-show-experience-ruiners as Concert-Attending D-Bags.
“Who qualifies as a Concert-Attending D-Bag?” you might be wondering. Fortunately, if you have to ask, there is a good chance that you are not one of the dreaded D-Bags. However, just in case you might be unknowingly wrecking live concerts or festivals for your fellow rockers, let me give you some of the signs that you might be, probably are, and definitely are one of the unwelcome Concert-Attending D-Bags. If you have done any of the following things, it is time to seriously reassess your show etiquette, also known as don’t-harass-others-while-you-enjoy-the-shrediquette.
WARNING: You might be a Concert-Attending D-Bag if…
…you weigh 200 pounds or more or are wearing hard soled combat boots and think it’s your turn to crowd surf.
…you just shoved in front of people who have been standing for hours to get a good spot for the headliner.
…you bring an iPad to the rock show.
…your wild dancing prompts the people standing around you to take a few steps away from you or to flat out walk away.
…your drinking or drug use causes you to vomit while still at the concert.
…you lack enough respect to make an effort to hit the hole when using the restrooms or portable toilets.
…you are positive that you sing better than the rock star on stage, and you feel it is your duty to let everyone around you know it.
…you feel the need to make a sign professing your love for your favorite performer and choose to hold this sign up for more that a few minutes, unless there is positively no one standing behind you.
THIS IS YOUR SECOND WARNING: You are probably a Concert-Attending D-Bag if…
…you have attended more than three concerts and have never used the words excuse me, sorry, pardon me, please, or any other polite request or apology.
…you purposely cut in front of others in the beer line, will call line, food line, water line, bathroom line, meet and greet line, or any other line.
…you didn’t feel the need to shower in the 24 hours prior to attending a concert.*
THIS IS YOUR THIRD AND FINAL WARNING, D-BAG: You are, without a doubt, a Concert-Attending D-Bag if…
…you are more interested in fighting than actually watching the band.
…you bring a child under the age of five to a loud concert without providing them with any kind of hearing protection.
…you have ever purchased a $7 beer, taken two sips, and then decided that it would be funny to throw the remaining full beer into the crowd.
…after smoking a cigarette, you feel the need to flick the still-lit butt into the crowd.
…you have ever found humor in purposefully trying to ruin the experience of a fellow concert attendee.
And finally, as Aaron Lewis so eloquently stated, if you feel you have the right to inappropriately touch, fondle, grab, or grope any other concert attendee without their permission, then you most certainly are a Concert-Attending D-Bag.
Please keep in mind that these are just a few of the signs of Concert D-Baggery. This list is by no means all-inclusive. D-Bags get more creative with their rudeness at each and every live show they attend. I am truly sad to say that almost every rock concert I have been to was populated by these sorts of D-Bags; this is not a trend that excites me. During Rockfest 2014, Aaron Lewis not only shredded, he also shed light on this growing D-Bag problem. Hopefully his act of bravery becomes a more powerful trend than the jerks destroying live show experiences everywhere. May other performers follow in his footsteps, taking a moment to do what’s right–publicly shame the deserving Concert-Attending D-Bags!
*You may also just be a hippie. If you normally shower on a regular to semi-regular basis, not obeying the 24 hour rule probably makes you one of the D-Bags.
Article co-wrote by Emi Griess and Casey Drahota. Images © Casey Drahota